I hate your mutt. I just do.

Just the other day I had gone over to a friend's place and I made her order Pizza for lunch. And when I wasn't paying attention my friend's dog came in and ate a slice of my(!) Pizza. That thief! Now I'd have murdered that animal then and there had my friend not intervened and gave me a slice from her pizza. Even though it wasn't the flavour that I ordered, I decided to show the dog some mercy on behalf of my friend who was willing to share more the pizza with me in return for the life of her dog.

People who know me are familiar with the fact that I don't like dogs at all. You see, I just don't see the point of people being so damn naive about dogs. I mean they're just animals for crying out loud. Just eat them up and get the ordeal over with.

Ever tried mentioning to a 'dog lover' that you don't like dogs? They'll grapple you with questions like "How can you not like dogs?" not counting comments such as "You're just cruel" and shit like that. I mean, doesn't a man have the rights to have his own opinion? I don't care if you love your pet, I don't have a pet, and I will feel free to hate yours with unparalleled tenacity. Fuck you.

You people are just every bit as annoying as those vegetarians who keep on preaching vegetarianism to every single person they meet on the slightest of mention that he/she is a non-vegetarian. So will that make me stop eating meat? No, I eat meat because it tastes great. I am that cruel so as to subject harmless little animals to slaughter just so I can have my tasteful of delicious juicy meat. Big-fucking-deal, last I checked we lived in a free country where we had the rights to have our own opinions about things without being forced to be subjected to your futile accusations.

Do you even realise that the privileges that you're bestowing upon that beloved mutt of yours are more than what many children in this country will ever receive? I know most of you spend more on your dog than many lower-middle class families can afford to spend on their child's education and welfare. So stop giving me the 'charitable' excuse to having that smelly thing share living quarters with you. If you're feeling so charitable, just give away all that money to a homeless shelter or something. Or better yet, give it to me, I could always use another 10-15 scale models.

And what's even more annoying is that your dog requires your attention 24 hours in a day. You can't bloody ignore the thing for one second without being subjected to barking and whimpering until you're forced to pet the flea infested animal. A dog would gladly give Paris Hilton competition in attention-whoring. It's like a stripper. It has to do the extra work to get your attention because you know damn well you wouldn't be paying it attention if it didn't have it's face dug up in your crotch.

If you were ever sensible enough, you'd get yourself a cat as a pet. Ever seen a cat eat its own poop? They're independent, they'll leave home for hours at an end doing what they please having their own little adventures. And you won't be home worried sick that your pet has wandered outside the threshold of your house and is incompetent to guide itself back home. On the other hands, dogs can't be expected to do anything for themselves, unless of course, it's eating your brand new shoes.

Now I've heard the "OMG JAMIE.. CATZZ R SOOOO MOODY.. LOLZZZZ" excuse. It just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, its ok for you to be moody and shoo away your pet when you're working or in a crappy mood, but it's not ok for your pet not to feel affectionate?

Summing it all up, pets don't make sense, and if I ever do want one, I'd get myself something with a personality as opposed to a tail chasing growling mutt. And I deem it about damn time we start taking the term "Hot Dog" seriously.

Go fry, I don't care about your opinions.