Seen ma ryddd? itzzz kewl yaaa

So you wanted a hot shot Toyota Supra? But daddy dearest wouldn't pay for one and bought you a Santro instead? No problem. Over accessorise it to make it look like a coughed out phlegm of a sports car.

Totally gets you laid, it does. Chicks dig that shit. I can't think of one girl who'd be able to resist her libidos on seeing you zoom past in a decked up Santro with your music system blaring with you zig-zagging and barely avoiding an old man, a rickshaw and a truck, all in one turn. Foolproof method, I give to you. You buy a 3 lakh rupee car, spend another 2 lakh or so on rims, body-kit, tinted windows, an obnoxiously loud exhaust coupled with an even louder music system, and voila. You've just managed to shame Michelangelo in art, Chris Bangle in car design and Gordon Murray in deriving performance out of your car, all with the help of Bunty Bhaiya at the nukkad car modification shop. Life's never been this good.

For those of you who're new to this league of modded cars. I give you a list of things that it's completely essential for a modded car to have for you to look 'kewl'.

1. Tinted Windows: The very first and the cheapest step. Having this implies that you've done 'stuff' inside your car. Of course by stuff I mean, getting drunk and hollering on the girls on the street and ending up having a wild night by feeling up your friends; Chintzz and Happy. Tints are required on every possible glass on the car. 0% visibility is a must. The front windshield being no exception. You don't want your Pappa to find out you had a girl with you in the car. You'd be grounded.
2.Stickers: If you spent your money on vinyls, where would you have the money for the cheap beer you have to drink at the dhaba? So a lame stickering job would do just fine. Your aim, to hide as much of the original paintwork behind these stickers as possible. 'Pseudo racing stripes' are the key words here. These stickers can also give you the look of a two-tone paintjob. Ingenious! Consider yourself successful if the end result resembles this.
3. Alloys rims/wheel covers: Very important. Stock wheels are so not 'funk'. You want 'snazzy' shit on your ride. You should be getting yourself cool rims. New rims are one fine investment. They should be bulging, extra points of the super-chrome ones of course. Bonus points if you get yourself spinners. After all who doesn't want his ride to look like Fitty Cents'. Then you say to me, "But Jamie, I dnt hv da money 2 buy rimzzz..... LOLZZ". I say to you, "Get yourself wheelcovers! They're just as cool. And you can get them for as cheap as 200 bucks. They can totally pass off as alloy rims to blind guys." I am so smart. They should name a street after me.
4. Music System: I see no point of having a car if people don't hear your 'dhinchak' beats a kilometre from where you are. After all the world has to know that you listen to Akon. Listening to english music is cool after all. It's necessary that there be 83 woofers in the car such that the bass beats in the song drown out all vocals(not a bad thing if you're listening to Akon). Get an LCD screen if possible. Nothing beats watching porno with your buddies in the car. Also consider yourself a failure if the bass in the car can't be felt in the intestines of people a hundred metres away.
5. Body-kit: Everyone needs body kits. Bunty Bhaiya will show you loads of those. The super low bumpers and the side skirts. Bliss. Get cheap-ass scissor doors if your budget permits. I know you can't possibly get it installed properly and will have panel gaps which'll let a tennis ball pass through between the bumpers and the bonnet. But who cares. Atleast you got yourself 'Rad' bumpers. It's a must to for it to look that the body-kit is about to fall off any second.
6. Booming Exhaust: So what if you don't have a sports car? You want to revv it up at signal lights asking others to race you. Your car should sound like a distorted Ashok Leyland truck. Go to trusted Bunty Bhaiya, he'll have loads of options for you. Mufflers are the new in-thing. The louder the better. You have to give your sound system a competition, you see.
7. Spoilers/Fins: Everyone wants their cars to resemble jets. How do you do that, you ask. Why, get yourself spoiler and fins, of course. Spoilers have to be triple deckered and should be higher than your car. They're a waste if it doesn't seem like your car will take off at the traffic signal.
8. Fake Neons: I know it's hard for you to buy real neon lights to give your car the "Fast and Furious" look. So just get a bunch of LEDs and get Bunty Bhaiya to install them in the underside of your car. Get them inside your car too for the extra coolness factor. Look wicked, they do.
9. Stuff written on the windshield: The last and one of the most important thing to get is to have stuff written on your widshields. "NOTTY BOYZZ", "SINNGH IS KINNNNNG","DADZ GIFT" or "DEVIL RIDERZZZZZZ" are what I would suggest. But of course, you guys are ingenious. You can think up of better stuff by yourself. So go ahead. Try out your linguist skills. You'll do well, I have faith in you.

For the end result I have something like this in mind as your car.


Now that I have helped you create your dream car. I would like to be excused as I would very much like to spend the remainder of the day walking on the streets looking for your cars and Key-ing them. Don't forget to thank me for all the help I just gave you.